Monday, April 27, 2009

Saturday, 9 p.m. What else is there to do?

Well, we’re down to 10 groomers. Even writing that exhausts me.

The show begins with Krista returning to the doghouse after not being eliminated. The other 9 are noticeably unthrilled. Krista cries (remember she’s the one who doesn’t do that), and says to the confessional camera, “I’m not going to groom like I’m in a sorority house with a bunch of backstabbing witches. I need to groom like I’m sick of these people and I can’t stand them so I’m going to kill them off one at a time.” Since I’m watching this for all of you, you must imagine Pam on The Office, but with those words coming out of her mouth. Uh, pass the sharp grooming shears?

For the Pledge Quick Sniff Challenge, the groomers are told to pair up. They are taught how to massage a dog. Perhaps my cockapi love being handled more than most dogs, but I just don’t see this as a challenging task. Each pair is given a Jack Russell terrier to massage..

Sherri, the woman who has something to prove, tells the cameras several times that she is a massage practitioner. She figures she has an advantage, but the judge says that she and her partner talked to each other instead of to the dog. Marco (the guy who thinks groomers are weird) and Huber (with the accent) are superexcited to win and get a leg up and a treat…a trip to the dtox day spa. Marco talks about how sophisticated this massage was compared to the others he’s had. He did not share any details of these past massages.

Marco says, “Two people have gone home so far and that really worries me.” I don’t think he should be worried. I believe that’s how the show works.

For the elimination challenge, they are to groom the dogs of high maintenance clients. One claims that her dog needs to see a picture of her (the owner) at all times. One dog needs only filtered water and every ten minutes. One needs to be sung to. One owner needs his dog to attract women for him because a psychic told him so. He tells the groomers he hates his dog’s tail because it looks like someone put a firecracker in its butt. I wonder why such a charmer has trouble finding women.

The groomers don’t know that the clients are allowed to watch and listen to them on hidden cameras. The water woman thinks that they are using tap water. She’s angry. The singing groomers anger the owner, thinking that they are making fun of her by singing too loud and high (she is an opera singer and she demonstrated how to sing to the dog by singing loud and high).

Then the groomers of the dog of the man on the make take a big chance. They tip the dog’s tail with a bit of green coloring. Sherri says that she will take the fall if the owner doesn’t like it.

It’s judging time and the groomers are very shocked to find out that they were being watched. I wonder how they’ll react when they learn their actions are being filmed for a television show.

The judges are torn about the tail color. They agree it was a risk and they like risk-taking, but they are concerned that they should have checked with the owner first (though that would have removed the risk). Lisa and Bill win by doing a good job and constantly showing the owner’s photo to the dog. Sherri and Jessica lose because of the tail coloring. Sherri takes the fall and sobs because she doesn’t like to disappoint people. She can barely get the words out because of her crying. It actually is a little heartbreaking. Then she goes on about how she disappointed her family. I’m trying to picture her husband sitting at home, crushing his empty beer can with his bare hand and saying, “I told ya not to color those tails,” and her teenage daughter worrying that no one will ask her to the prom because of the humiliation of her mother being cut from Groomer Has It.

Well, 9 groomers left. I think I can make it to the end. I’ll do it for you, loyal readers. I’ll bring it!


Libby Fife said...

The commentary is better than any live show that I can imagine! With that said, when is this show on? Ya got me!

vicmarcam said...

Why, thank you. If you really want to put your toe in the water, it's on Animal Planet on Saturdays (at 8 p.m. from my cable provider).