Left Behind

A few weeks ago, I was feeling torn about my primary vote, but very excited about the great choices we had. But something has changed since then, and I'm not having fun anymore. I'm not sure why, but I think the reason might have to do with my age and I'm less than thrilled with that prospect.

I ended up voting for Clinton. I carefully weighed both candidates and found both to be wanting in some areas and strong in others and I couldn't decide. I finally thought to myself, "What is my number one issue?" and I realized it was health care. It came down to Clinton's stronger health care policy. Fair enough, I thought, and cast my vote.

I think I could already feel the groundswell for Obama the morning I cast my vote. I realized that I didn't want to tell anyone who I voted for. I was a little embarrassed. Obama was the cool candidate. I am aware of his charisma, but I am suspicious of charisma. Reagan had charisma and I hated him. Reagan also was the candidate for change. Remember: It's morning in America. Or perhaps you don't remember and that's the problem.

The Clinton voters don't have anything against Obama. They acknowledge the charisma, the caring, the left of center politics. We tend to think more experience might be a good idea, but we like Obama and wish him well. Really we do. The Obama voters LOVE their candidate. They hate Clinton. They didn't seem to at first, but their increasing numbers have made them brave and they've become quite vocal about it to the point that I don't think the double bill I've wished for will happen.

Everytime there's a primary, I hear about the Black/White/Hispanic vote and the man/woman vote, but I haven't heard about any kind of an age gap, and yet my gut tells me that that is exactly what's going on here. I think my suspicion of charisma probably comes from age and experience. There's a part of me that wishes I could join the party, but most of me knows that I can't. Maybe I never could have.

So I'll just get my shawl and wait for the convention.