The BS is as High as an Elephant's Eye

Rant alert!

The Corn Refiner's Association is taking out full page ads in many of today's newspapers (thanks, PJ, for the heads-up), running some television commercials, and giving us a website, sweet surprise, to inform us about many different kinds of sweeteners.  Why, you may ask, would a group that makes High Fructose Corn Syrup want you to learn about sugar, honey and aspartame?  This information allows one to create an interesting division between nutritive and non-nutritive sweeteners.  The corn refiners kindly give you information on those non-nutritive (in other words, non-caloric, sweeteners), but one suspects that the real goal is for the reader to lump HFCS, sugar and honey into the same wholesome category.   In this case, nutritive means calories only, not vitamins, minerals, proteins, fats, or fiber.

For those who don't already know about this, meaning you haven't had a conversation with me in the last twelve months, high fructose corn syrup is a sweetener that was so inexpensive when it was introduced in a big way in the early 80s, it soon became a major part of most Americans' diets.  After reading about it in The Omnivore's Dilemma, I put myself on a HFCS free diet.  Like many people, I try to eat as many natural, non-processed foods as possible, so it wasn't all that difficult to keep high fructose corn syrup out of my diet in a big way, but it was difficult to keep it out of the shopping cart.  This is because it shows up almost everywhere.  So, while I might be planning a simple meal of barbecued chicken, potatoes and fresh vegetables, I would have to pass on a jar of barbecue sauce and on a premade salad dressing.  Needless to say, most sodas are out of the question.  Now that I've made a concerted effort to not buy anything with HFCS for an entire year, I thought I'd survey my kitchen:

I found it in Honeymade Graham Crackers, Greek Salad Dressing, corn syrup (even though corn syrup is different from HFCS, even corn syrup uses it as a sweetener) and a barbecue sauce.  Check your own kitchen out.  It's amazing where it turns up.  PJ found some in dried fruit!

So, how bad is the website?  I couldn't find any outright lies.  It's kind of the Fox News of websites in that it just leaves out important details that would give you a fair and balanced view of things. Here are some examples:

1. The body metabolizes all sugars the same.  Maybe.  The jury is still kind of out on this one.  Some studies suggest that the higher fructose to sucrose ratio of HFCS causes difficulty for the body when it is processed by the body.  This information is left completely out.
2. High Fructose Corn Syrup won't make you obese.  It is true that if you only ate HFCS and nothing else, you would die before you became obese, but the site fails to mention that there are much better ways to get nutrition, and that this country's obesity problem completely coincides with the introduction of HFCS into our diets.
3. (My favorite)  HFCS is not less natural than sugar and honey because they all need processing.  Yes, they are all processed.  Honey is poured through a filter to remove impurities.  Sugar has some lime (not the fruit) added to the cane or beet juice in order to pull out some impurities and then it is filtered and solidified (this process goes back hundreds of years).  High Fructose Corn Syrup?  Too many steps to write about here, but it involves corn to cornstarch, then treatment with several enzymes, then carbon absorption and several evaporation steps.
4. U.S. Food Manufacturers continued use of HFCS is based on the benefits it provides rather than its price relative to sugar.  Oh my!  This is probably as close as this site comes to a lie.  It is true that HFCS, because it is a liquid does keep foods moister and has some other benefits.  However, this is not why it is used in sodas, for example.  Up until very recently, farmers grew far, far more corn than the world needed.  The government would buy the excess and sometimes just let it rot.  At the same time, the government put tariffs on imported sugar.  So, HFCS was an answer to everyone's prayers.  Ignore the plight of the sugar growers (which is another sad story in itself), ignore that we could have used that excess corn land to grow other things (if you want to get sick, read the part in The Omnivore's Dilemma about how we are forcing the nation's cattle to eat corn when their stomachs are evolved to eat grass).  Ignore what growing nothing but corn in huge quantities does to the nation's farmland.  

Why this ad campaign now?  Well, I'm guessing that the high price of corn due to its use in ethanol is making HFCS rather close to sugar in price.  (And here is our next big ethical dilemma:  do we really want our farmland being used to literally fuel our cars instead of feeding the world?)  This, coupled with consumer interest in getting away from HFCS is probably making a lot of food manufacturers think twice about what they should be using to sweeten their foods, if they need to sweeten them at all.  Do we really need salad dressing to be sweet?  

By the way, lest you feel sympathy for the Corn Refiner's Association:  as far as I can tell, it consists of seven companies, not individuals, and those companies are involved in making cornstarch, dextrose and ethanol along with high fructose corn syrup.  I think if we all stop eating HFCS, they're going to be okay.

If You Can't Stand the Heat

So, my summer resolutions were kind of slowed down by two days of work and a horrible heat wave. I was complaining about the heat to my sister, who asked what the temperature was. I complained, "90s!" This was followed by a moment of silence where I realized that my sister, who lives in St. Louis, was probably less than sympathetic. Seriously, though, it was very uncomfortable and the state is burning up, which it's not supposed to do until September/October. This is going to be a tough year.

Yesterday, I had a day off and I decided to not try and work through the heat. Instead, I spent the entire day reading Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. If you like Hollywood movies from the 1930s (and if you don't, I don't want to hear about it), I think you'll love this book, which reads like a screwball comedy. It was charming and funny and a very quick read. But I think that there's more to it than that, too. I think it was a look into the inner life of a woman who has been invisible her entire life, but who finds that she has skills that give her some power. And though we only see the other main character through Miss Pettigrew's eyes, it was a pleasant surprise to discover that the beautiful blonde young woman with pretty loose morals was actually very intelligent and kind.

This morning when I woke up, it was at least twenty degrees cooler than it had been for several days, meaning that I could get back to my cleaning frenzy. It was time to work on the room I most dreaded...the kitchen. Here is a before and after of the worst cupboard:




A clean cupboard does something to my soul. Sad, but true. There's a sense of peace that comes to me when I look at it, and the hope that I can keep it that neat (though I've had my own kitchen to take care of for twenty-nine years now, so the odds are against me that I will change). Anyway, I can enjoy it for a while, and I can enjoy my orderly kitchen for an even shorter while. If you know my kitchen, you can have fun listing what I changed. And I've been saving for some changes in my kitchen. Feel free to weigh in on what you would change.






Now, back to my cleaning frenzy.

Everything but the Glass Slipper

I haven’t blogged Groomer Has It for a bit, so I have missed telling about the insane and scary and tight skinned dog psychic and the grooming van challenge, in which the groomers were judged on their driving skills and told that a van accident is unacceptable at “this point in the competition.”

We begin with Kathleen’s exit. She did not tell her client about cutting the dog’s nails too short. Jorge really wished for her departure, which could be foreshadowing of what will happen to him this week. This week’s Quick Sniff begins with a message to meet Jai, the host, at the Dog Park. Each groomer is given a booth, which looks hilariously like Lucy’s Psychiatrist Booth in Peanuts. They have to decorate it themselves and prove their business savvy by getting customers and grooming, setting their own prices.

And, as they begin to decorate, their booths look quite a bit more like Lucy’s booth with hand-written signs and prices. Artist’s booth, “Doggie Depo,” is in the worst location, so his strategy is to lure customers over by undercutting Jonathan’s prices, which Jonathan says are “Manhattan prices.” If it was about anything but dogs, I would probably applaud Artist’s business savvy, but I’m not sure that having low, low prices is the right strategy for dog lovers. Why isn’t he undercutting Jorge’s prices? Jorge has no prices. Jorge has a very smart strategy. He tells the clients that it’s a competition and they should pay what they think is right.

Everyone seems to be busy the entire time. At one point, Jorge has a lull, but it doesn’t seem to last long. Jorge’s strategy seems to be working well. We see him getting $20 bills for nail trims, while Jonathan is only charging $4 and Artist, $2. Later, it seems that people are paying less and less. While the suspense builds as we wait to see who has made the most money, Jonathan makes fun of Artist’s sign because it is not centered. He doesn’t mention the spelling of Depo. Artist tells the confessional camera that Jonathan is an “arrogant prick.”

Jonathan ends up winning. He pumps his fists into the air, yelling, “New York prices!” Catchy.

The actual challenge for this week is to hand-strip Wire Haired Terriers. Apparently, Wire Haired Terriers need their hair pulled out by the follicle or else the follicle can become infected.

Artist says that he has never stripped. Jorge hand strips a lot. Jonathan says that hand stripping is one of his favorite things to do.

Artist is at a large disadvantage because he is the only groomer who has never stripped. So, he should be eliminated, but it is starting to look like the producers are turning this show into a Cinderella story, with our guy from the streets being the most deserving winner. The edits are showing Artist as kinder and kinder and his competitors as, well, arrogant pricks.

Though Jonathan is not one of the judges, he tells us that he did an amazing job and that he should win. Jorge, master of stating the obvious, tells us that this could be the grooming that makes you or breaks you. Artist is asked what he could have improved upon and he, following in Jorge’s footsteps, says that he could improve upon his technique.

I realize watching the judges’ discussion that the judges have started to talk about Artist as if he is one of their pets. Xavier says, “He learns quickly, he catches on, and he’s attentive.” I’m surprised they’re not petting him, other than figuratively.

Speaking of which, Artist is named this week’s Best of Show because he did the best job for someone who has never done this job before. Jonathan will compete against him in the finals. Jorge has to take his ego and go home.

Summer Resolutions

It seems fitting to change my blog colors with this post.

I doubt that I'm the only teacher who makes summer resolutions instead of New Year's resolutions. My summer resolutions tend to get done, unlike New Year's resolutions. I think there are several reasons for this. I am just coming down from an exhausting schedule, especially at the end of the year. Teachers, who quickly become accustomed to having more days off than anyone but firefighters, become exhausted by the two long, vacationless periods in the year: from September to November and from Spring Break (which was very early this year) to mid-June. The end of the year involves cleaning and often packing up classrooms, entering final grades, end of the year awards and ceremonies, and goodbyes for students, retirees, and those let go. I have several side jobs, too, and many of them end at the same time as the school year. Paperwork needs to be done, reports filed, letters of recommendation for colleagues written. This is my long-winded way of saying that one of the reasons that summer resolutions get done is that it takes some time to come down from that feeling of constant rushing, so I take advantage of it at first.

There's a weather component, too. Here in San Leandro, near the San Francisco Bay, summers are often mild, causing me to feel like doing things. Those who know me know that as soon as the thermometer hits 80, all bets are off. I am not fit for human company, unless that company doesn't mind spending time with an incoherent, sweaty and miserable lump. But as long as we stay in the 70's (or even better, 60's), I like working. Western culture, with its January 1 New Year, sets us up for failure. Who wants to start exercising or quit bad habits when days are dark and you are feeling like hibernating?

But I think the main reason that summer resolutions can get done is that summer vacation ends, so summer resolutions must end, too. So, the resolutions have to have reachable goals. The typical New Year's resolution is a rest of your life resolution. Too long. Too scary.

This is a rare summer for me, where I'm not spending much of the summer working. So far, I have eleven working days planned. That will increase as we get closer to August 19th, when all of this comes to an end, but for right now, I feel like the possibilities are infinite.

So, here are my summer resolutions. They won't all get done because it isn't possible, but my first summer resolution is to revisit this list of resolutions in late August and blog about how I did (perhaps there will be pictures!)

1. A thorough cleaning of every room in the house (including drawers and closets) along with needed repairs in each room.
2. Start the new school year with a well-tended garden that does not embarrass me.
3. Finish the quilt I've been working on for several years now (there will be a photo if I finish). It has been a long time since I've started a new one, and I'd really like to. And, PJ, I will help you start yours, too.
4. Get my backyard fence rebuilt. Parts of it fell down in a storm this year, mostly because they had rotted.
5. Walk at least two miles every day.
6. Find an activity to do that helps with strength and balance. This was going to say "buy a wii fit," but it appears that the market will keep this from happening. Our sinking economy causes Nintendo to prefer to sell them in Europe instead of here.
7. Paint my bedroom and make it feel less cluttered.
8. Go through my curriculum unit by unit, and attempt to make it more interesting to all my students.
9. Read a lot (this one is purposely left vague because I haven't picked out all my summer books yet, so I haven't decided if I'll spend several weeks on a meaty book, or read shorter books).
10. The one I'm most excited about: Build a Stickley-style trestle coffee table (N, another teacher, is kindly going to help me with this)

We'll see what happens. And I do mean "we" because another resolution is to blog at least twice a week until August 19th.

Won't Get Fooled Again

So, Groomer Has It is down to the final four: Artist, Kathleen, Jonathan and Jorge. So far, this show has not had any big surprises or upsets. If that pattern continues, then Artist should be saying goodbye on today's episode.

The episode begins with Jonathan and Kathleen telling the camera how much they are disliking each other. Perhaps my guess about today's elimination is wrong since every episode tends to begin with foreshadowing about who is being eliminated.

The Quick Sniff takes place at a dog rescue organization, or so we are led to believe. But, surprise, there is no Quick Sniff this week. This is the elimination challenge. Jorge is a bit upset about there being no Quick Sniff because, he tells us, "I was hoping to play with something today." Oh, Jorge. I suppose you can do that later.

So, I'm starting to think that I'm right about either Jonathan or Kathleen going home because there is no formal judging. This week is about that giving back part that was discussed in episode one. Four dogs will be groomed and hopefully adopted. The groomer of the last one to get adopted is the one who will go home.

There are four dogs to choose from. Kathleen, as last week's winner, goes first and falls in love with Teddy, who is the male breeding dog from a puppy mill. He is in the worst shape and was treated horribly. He is so matted that he feels pain when walking. But she doesn't pick him because "it is a competition." Now, readers, remember this moment because it will come back to haunt Kathleen over and over again in the episode. Let's explore this decision: there are only four dogs to choose from. There are four groomers. So, each dog will get special treatment from a groomer who will do his/her best to get the dog adopted. Kathleen didn't choose Teddy, but that doesn't mean that he just received a death sentence.

Artist comes next and picks Teddy, even though he and the other groomers think he just committed competition suicide. And sure enough, Teddy is so matted that he has to be shaved completely, which reveals his sores. It is not a pretty sight. The other groomers are in awe of Artist for making such an unselfish choice, and it seems to bring out the best of some of them. Jorge finishes his dog and Jorge helps Artist with scissoring.

Jonathan has a very pretty black Pomeranian and Kathleen has a white dog that looks like a cockapoo. Jorge has the female breeding dog that was rescued from the puppy mill. All the groomers are shown actually caring that all the dogs, especially Teddy, find homes.

All the groomers are sent out with their newly groomed dogs to try to talk people into attending the adoption fair. Artist seems to be the most charming of the four. People seem to be drawn in by him and his enthusiasm. Teddy, despite being a bit unattractive, is a very friendly dog. Jorge realizes that telling the story of his dog, the breeding female from the puppy mill, draws people in. Plus, the dog is really cuddly. Kathleen is seen trying to steal away Jorge's customers. Jonathan seems to be having no luck getting anyone interested in his dog. He might want to rethink calling potential customers evil. More foreshadowing?

Later, at home, Jonathan says that he will be mad if he gets sent home due to a challenge that has nothing to do with grooming. Can't blame him, but only one of these competitions has been completely fair (the wire dog challenge). They all have had randomness as a factor.

All four groomers are showing their best sides, truly caring about adopting all the dogs. As if Artist wasn't saintly enough in this episode, he actually is responsible for Jorge winning the challenge when a client doesn't want Teddy. Artist realizes that Jorge's dog might be a good match. All of the groomers are in awe of Artist's kindness.

Jonathan is next to adopt his dog out to a cute little girl who keeps saying that she wants to take the dog home.

Now, it's down to Kathleen and Artist, and there really is some suspense. We have Kathleen, who got first choice and who chose what seemed to be an easy to adopt dog, and we have Artist who did the right thing and everyone knows it.

The next client to come in is a guy whose girlfriend sent him because she liked Kathleen's dog. It seems like it'll be a slam-dunk, but the dog doesn't seem to like the guy very much, instead preferring Kathleen. Artist, waiting for clients, looks dejected. Kathleen, at this point, really should have suggested Artist's dog, but she doesn't. The guy signs adoption papers.

I'm feeling pretty bad for Artist, though he did a good thing and should be proud. The judges show up to, I think, say goodbye, but no! Artist is not being sent home after all. I'm pretty sure that the producers of the show decided that they didn't want to receive hate mail the rest of their lives.

So, a kind of sweet episode.

Next week looks funny again. The groomers are paired up and sent out in big grooming vans to make house calls. It looks like lack of driving skill becomes an issue.

Hey! I just realized that they must have planned to not eliminate someone this week all along. Otherwise, they couldn't do the grooming van episode the following week. When will I learn not to trust reality television, even on Animal Planet?